Not getting drunk and she hates wearing heels

I never ever ever ever wear heels. Ever. Okay, maybe once a year. But almost never. I am going to be in a wedding this spring, though, and I don't want to fall over and embarrass the bride, so I decided I should just be a grown-up already and start practicing the heel-wearing thing now. I got tired of it about a block from my house this morning. Three things I learned that I cannot do while in heels:

1. Walk at my typical lightning speed. This made me five minutes late for work.
2. Run down escalators to catch trains. This made me an additional five minutes late for work.
3. Get away with not paying attention to spaces between bricks in the sidewalk.

Screw this looking-like-a-grownup thing.

I do like the fact that I get to make noise when I walk, though. That's fun.